He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
