id be glad to
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
