I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
