Dual....:-)
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
