That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
