And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
