Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
