That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
