I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
