Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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