Don't make out with my wife yet
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
