I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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