Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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