Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
