My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
