Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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