i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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