i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
