East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We are two peas in an std pod
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
