if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
