It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
