I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
