You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
