I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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