I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
