check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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