wat bout pragnant strippers??
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Are my feet made of real feet?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
