you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
