no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
