Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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