don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
