oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
