The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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