Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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