please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
