so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I touched a dick in church today
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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