I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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