Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
