dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
