They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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