this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
