U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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