4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
