hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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