She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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