HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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