dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
