Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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