I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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