worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
